Compassion

I just finished reading a book called Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life by Henri Nouwen, Donald McNeill, and Douglas Morrison.  This book has quickly become a new favorite and I would like to encourage you all to check it out!

This book challenged me and left me feeling inspired to continue to explore what it means to live a life of compassion.  I learned a lot from Nowen, McNeill, and Morrison's writings but the funny thing was that as I read their book I almost missed the perfect examples of compassion that have surronded me here in Swaziland. 

"The word compassion is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, which together mean "to suffer with." Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human. When we look at compassion this way, it becomes clear that something more is involved than a general kindness or tenderheartedness." (Page 4)

This week one of my friends here in Swaziland had a still birth.  Over the last few days I have witnessed their family and friends gather around this young couple to mourn the death of their unborn child.  Last night a dozen or so people gathered at the father's homestead to mourn.  This may be a cultural tradition but it is also provides us with a glimpse of the fellowship of believers that we read about in Acts 2.

Yesterday, one of the gogos from Timbali saw Titi (the father's sister and mother's best friend) crying about the situation.  I don't know if this gogo knew what Titi was crying about but upon seeing Titi's saddness the gogo instantly engulfed Titi in a hug and starting whispering a prayer into Titi's ear.  This is compassion. 

"Many people tend to associate prayer with separation from others, but real prayer brings us closer to our fellow human beings. Prayer is the first and indispensible discipline of compassion precisely because prayer is also the first expression of human solidarity. Why is this so? Because the Spirit who prays in us is the Spirit by whom all human beings are brought together in unity and community. The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of peace, unity, and reconciliation, constantly reveals himself to us as the power through whom people from the most diverse social, political, economic, racial, and ethnic backgrounds are brought together as sisters and brothers of the same Christ and daughters and sons of the same Father.

To prevent ourselves from slipping into spiritual romanticism or pious sentimentality, we must pay careful attention to the compassionate presence of the Holy Spirit. The intimacy of prayer is the intimacy created by the Holy Spirit who, as the bearer of the new mind and the new time, does not exclude but rather includes our fellow human beings. In the intimacy of prayer, God reveals himself to us as the God who loves all the members of the human family just as personally and uniquely as he loves us. Therefore, a growing intimacy with God deepens our sense of responsibility for others. It evokes in us an always increasing desire to bring the whole world with all its suffering and pains around the divine fire in our heart and to share the revitalizing heat with all who want to come. But it is precisely this desire that requires such deep and strong patience." (Pages 108-109)

Death is very common in Swaziland, in fact this is a nation with one of the lowest life expectancy rates.  A third example of compassion I saw yesterday was seeing another friends response to hearing about the recent death.  He knows a few of the family members but does not directly know the Mother or the Father of the baby.  Despite not knowing them or even knowing much about the situation he was moved to tears as we arrived at the homestead and saw the mourning family members.  His response to death, especially in a place where death is so common, was compassion.  Once again on this trip I found myself reminded of 1st Corinthians 12:26.  "If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it."

"The great news we have recieved is that God is a compassionate God.  In Jesus Christ the obedient servant, who did not cling to his divinity buy emptied himself and became as we are, God has revealed the fullness of his compassion.  He is Immanuel, God-with-us.  The great call we have heard is to live a compassionate life.  In the community formed in displacement and leading to a new way of being together, we can become disciples-living manifestations of God's presence in this world.  The great task we have been given is to walk the compassionate way.Through the discipline of patience, practiced in prayer, and action, the life of discipleship becomes real and fruitful." (page 130)

Sala kahle. Hamba Kahle.

It is hard to believe that my time here in Swaziland is quickly coming to an end.  How can it be that I have already been here for almost four month?  Words can not describe all that I have seen, experienced, learned, and felt.  I have had the opportunity to work beside some incredible Swazis, Americans, and South Africans.  These people inspired me daily and they will forever be role models in my life.  It is sad knowing that my time in Swaziland will be over in four days but I am also excited to be returning to Minnesota.  I can not wait to be reunited with friends and family.  I have been thinking a lot about the Great Commision as I prepare to leave Swaziland and start life back up in Minnesota.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."  (Matthew 28:19 & 20)

We are all called to live the Great Commision daily.  I am realizing that you don't actually have to "go" anywhere to fulfill this calling.  Rather, we must "go" with our lives.  I love Swaziland and I am thankful that I had the opportunity to be a part of God's ministry here.  It would be great if I could come back and continue working here but this isn't the only place that God is calling me to live out the Great Commision.  We must learn what it means to "go" in our everyday life.  Thankfully, we don't have to travel across the world to follow God's calling.

I have attempted to learn a little bit of SiSwati while I have been here.  Two common phrases used for good bye are "sala kahle" and "hamba kahle" (the "k" is pronounced with a "g" sound).  Sala kahle means stay well and hamba kahle means go well.  I think that these two phrases are beautiful little reminders of the Great Commision.  Some of us will follow Jesus' words by going and some of us live them out by staying.  So, whether you are going or staying, I pray that together we may live out Jesus' words of commison daily.

"Go" with your lives, wherever you are.

Sala Kahle.  Hamba kahle.

And remember Jesus is with us always, to the very end of the age.

Current Happenings.

It’s been a while.  My time here has been incredible but as life falls into rhythm in Swaziland my day to day life seems less and less blog worthy.  Here is little update on some of the joys and struggles of the last few weeks. 

1. This last week I have had a pretty nasty cold.  It makes me laugh.  I survived the transition from a Minnesota summer to winter without the sniffles but as Swaziland ever so slightly cools off I find myself with a never ending runny nose and a very sore throat.  I am very disappointed in my immune system but I am not going to complain too much because despite my cold I am loving this cooler weather.

2.  Our Swaziland Easters was really great.  The Swazis celebrate Easter all week long so they simply added an “s” to the end of Easter.   Yesterday (Easter Sunday, not to be confused with today which is Easter Monday) all of the AIM families gathered for a really fun Easters celebration.  The thirty of us spent the day worshipping, eating, playing games, eating, and laughing.  Easter is my favorite holiday.  My family and friends gather every year to celebrate and remember Jesus’ resurrection.  I was feeling pretty homesick Sunday morning thinking of all that I would be missing at home but I am so thankful to have had a very similar celebration with my new friends here in Swaziland. 

3. Two weeks ago Bailey and I helped lead a week long spring break trip.  I enjoyed getting to know the group and serving alongside of them.  One of our projects for the week was painting Gogo Grace’s house.  Grace Nkambule is a 73 year old who participates in the Timbali project and cooks at the Bhobokazi care point.  Grace has experienced a lot of loss in her life.  Her husband passed away in 1978 and only one of her five children is still living.  Despite these losses, Grace still finds joy daily by caring for the people around her.  Grace serves at the care point because she sees that it is her part to care for her community and to serve the Lord.  Grace is a very genuine women and it is apparent that every moment of her day is an act of worship and service to our Lord.  Last spring a team built Grace a house after she spent a number of years homeless.  Normally, when a Swazi wants to buy land they must pay the chief with a cow.  The Chief knew about Graces situation so instead he requested that she pay him with a Coke.  Talk about a great Coke commercial.  Our team had the great blessing of adding the finishing touches to Grace’s small two room house.  With the extra money we were also able to pay for a toilet for her squatty.  Words cannot describe the joy that Grace expressed after receiving her new toilet.  My time with Grace was a great reminder to continue my mission of living simply, to be joyful, and to thank God daily for his great love

4. Okay, this doesn’t really have anything to do with me but it is an incredible story…so I am including it!  Amy and Alison, two of the AIM staff, spend a lot of time at the hospital with the babies who have been abandoned.  They have put forth a great effort to build rapport with the Swazi social workers in hope of creating a house of hope (foster care) for the children at the hospital.  Often babies, who are perfectly healthy, are left at hospitals by parents who cannot care for them.  Amy and Alison want to provide a home for these children while they search out Swazi families who can provide the needed care for children in this situation.   After about a year of praying and trying to work with the social workers the hospital finally called Amy and asked if she would bring sweet little Mukelo home.  I have chatted with some other missionaries here in Swaziland and they are all truly amazed that the hospital has not only allowed this but that they made this request.  Mukelo was left at the hospital four months ago with an anonymous note from her mother.  Mukelo has cerebral palsy.  She will be two in June but is still wearing 6-9 month sized clothes.  It is a challenge to feed her because of inability to suck.  All of her liquids are given through a syringe.  She received some care at the hospital but since she didn’t have a care giver with her 24/7 she was often neglected.  I am brought to tears as I think about Mukelo’s mother.  I picture a mother who loves her daughter so much but just didn’t have the resources or the knowledge to care for her sweet baby.  The letter said that no one else would help her care for her baby and so she could not work.  I picture a mom you had no other choice but to leave her baby at the hospital.  Thankfully, God has opened other doors to ensure that Mukelo is loved and cared for.  In fact, it would appear that God started preparing the Mcadam family long before they moved to Swaziland.  Amy has previous medical experience and actually worked at a camp for children with Cerebral Palsy when she was in college.  This passionate and loving family has created the perfect home for Mukelo and I am thankful that they will continue to care for her until they find a Swazi family that is willing and able to provide the love and care that Mukelo needs.

5. I love exploring.  I have enjoyed traveling a little bit around Swaziland and enjoying God's beautiful creation here.  Our most recent explorations have included a 2nd trip to Mlilwane Game Park, a day at the Swazi cultural village, and a short hike to the Mantenga Waterfall.  I am also looking forward to a short trip to the Indian ocean soon.  I have loved discovering Swaziland these past few months and I am realizing that I need to do a better job of enjoying creation once I get back home.  There are endless amounts of things for me to see in this world and those discoveries should start in my backyard.  

6. Bailey and I have continued our work with Timbali.  We still spend every week interviewing the ladies, helping Titi with inventory and quality control, the head band project with the teen girls, helping at a preschool, and much more.  I enjoy all of our responsibilities, especially now that we know the ladies better.   

7. Trying to keep up on current trends.  haha.  I have read the hunger games and I have a pintrest account.  You all should be proud!   

8.  I am doing my best to make the best out of each and every day.  This has been quite the experience so far and I know that a lot more will be happening in my last month here.  Despite all of this I can’t help but be a little homesick.  I will be leaving for home in a little over a month and I am pretty excited to get back to the land of 10,000 lakes.

This is the way, walk in it.

If you have ever spent time in the BWCA or on other hiking trails you may be familiar with rock cairns.  A rock  cairn is simply a pile of rocks.  In places like the Boundary Waters they are used to mark a trail.  There is a portage in the Boundary Waters that connects Seagull lake and Paulson lake.  At times this portage crosses some large rocks.  Without the rock cairns left by others, my campers and I surely would have lost our way.  These  cairns point you in the right direction and ensure a safe passage to the next lake.

In Genesis we read about God testing Abraham.  An altar is built in preparation for the sacrifice of his son Isaac.  As we all know, an angel appeared telling Abraham not to lay a hand on the boy.  Abraham sacrifices a ram instead and recognizes that that is a place where the Lord provides.  That place became a sacred place and when I think of the altar that Abraham built I imagine a rock  cairn.

Last year I went through Strength Finders for the second time.  Both times one of my signature strengths was titled futuristic.  I am energized by the possibility of the future for myself and for those around me.  I love to dream about what is to come and make goals for the coming years.  At times, this strength can also be a great weakness.  It can be easy for me to get caught in the future.  I am always working towards balancing my excitement about the future with a joy for the present.  I am extremely thankful for this opportunity to live and learn in Swaziland for four months but I often find myself getting a little too antsy about what is next.  These past few weeks I have had to put a significant amount of thought towards being present.  The combination of homesickness and an uncertainty about summer and fall plans have made this difficult. 

This week Bailey and I spent some time the Mkhombokati care point doing interviews with the cooks who participate in Timbali.  Nearby a small group of children were playing, stacking rocks on top of each other.  To them it may have just been a pile of rocks, but to me this was a beautiful rock cairn, an altar.  I believe that there is never one path that God intends us to take.  Sure, we may be called to do some specific things but in general I think that, because of our free will, we can go anywhere and do anything with our lives.  What’s important is that along the way we praise and serve God with all of our heart.  Upon seeing this rock  cairn I was reminded that I am on the right path.  I am not saying that at that moment God wanted me to be at Mkombokati, or in Swaziland, or even in Africa.  Rather, this rock cairn showed me is that I am on the right path in terms of how I am living my life.  This stack of rocks reminded me that God is with me and that God will provide.  This is the encouragement that I needed to be present here.  Today, I am in Swaziland.  I am serving God.  This is what I God has intended for my                                                                                  life.  I am on the right path.

And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”   -Isaiah 30:21    

Preschool.

Two days a week Bailey and I have been helping out at one of the preschools/care points in Manzini.  This care point is across the street from the city dump and it is one of the roughest areas of town.  On an average day 217 children flock to this small compound for a meal of rice and beans.  Many of these kids come after school.  We only interact with the 30 kids that attend the preschool.  These thirty kids are full of energy and are always climbing and clinging to Bailey and me.  Some days are better than others but on a whole I have really struggled with enjoying my time here.  It is difficult to show affection to the children when they are climbing all over you.  I often find myself losing my patience with them.

Most days I leave preschool feeling tired and dirty but today I left with feeling hopeless.  Our days consist of two hours of class room time, an hour of free time, and one more hour in the class room.  During the free time Bailey and I sat down to chat with Treasure, the teacher.  After some small talk she began to share with us a little more of this places background.  I was aware that the folks in this specific community are living in extreme poverty and so I asked if many of the children’s parents had jobs.  Treasure shook her head no and said “they drink from sun up to sun down.”  Alcoholism has plagued this community.  These preschoolers are surrounded by family members and neighbors who do nothing else but drink.  Treasure continued by telling us some devastating stories of her students seeing sexual encounters by their drunken parents and then repeating them with their peers.  A teacher should never have to split up two of her preschool students from having sex in the bathroom.  She expressed her deep sadness in these experiences and her frustration in not knowing how to deal with the situation.  What would you do?  Do you punish these children who are only repeating what they see all around them?  Through no fault of their own they have lost their innocence.  She went on to tell us more stories of her students themselves getting drunk.  These families, who at times cannot afford food or clothes, will buy their children alcohol for holidays.  Another student once informed Treasure that if she needed more money she could look for boys at the nearest bar.  How does a preschool girl know about prostitution? 

These handful of stories were heart breaking to hear and they left me with a sense of hopelessness.  It is not fair that these children have lost their innocence.  How long has this been going on and how long will it continue?  Will this cycle ever be broken?  I know that the rest of my time at this preschool will not be easy and my same frustrations will still exist but I know have a clearer understanding as to why these children act the way that they do.  I am sad to hear about the reality here but with this knowledge I will have a new tolerance and a stronger desire to teach and care for these kids.  

helpful or harmful?

Part of our responsibilities here in Swaziland is to update all of the information on the women who participate in Timbali crafts.  Every week Bailey and I complete one on one interview with a handful of women.  During this time we do our best to get to know the ladies.  We have a list of questions that help us to gather information about the ladies and we give the women an opportunity to voice their opinions about timbali, the care points, and visiting teams.  Earlier this week we visited one of the cooks from the Timbutini care point.  We asked her if she would like to see the teams do anything differently.  She then proceeded to tell us about a few children who are living on their own and said that it would be nice if the teams could visit them.  

Bailey and I could not make any promises that a team could visit but we offered to take time on Saturday to stop by the children's homestead.  So, after sewing with the teen girls Bailey, Lingilwe, Titi, and I went to visit the child-run household.  This family has seven children in total.  The father passed away and the mother abandoned her children.  The older siblings have all left for schooling or employment leaving twin thirteen year olds and a ten year old to fend for themselves.  These three children eat at the care point on week days and they are able to go to school (The government pays school fees for orphans).  It is heartbreaking thinking of these three young children living on their own.  They have no guaranteed protection or meals.  Bailey and I were eager to meet this small family and deliver some basic groceries.  We hope to return every week to spend time with the kids, bringing with us a craft or a soccer ball.  We want to help this small family with their basic needs while creating a friendship with them.


During our visit I got to thinking about the importance of sustainability.  I have the resources to help these children until May and I want to help them.  Our visits have the benefit of ensuring that these children have food for the next week.  But in the long run could this do more harm then good.  I do not want to take away opportunities for this community to care for these children.  I am only here until May, what will happen after I leave?  How can I, an outsider, encourage engagement from the community to care for these children?  What is the most helpful way that I can participate in their well being?  I want to help, and I can help, but is this the right way to go about it?  

I finally read some Wendell Berry.

Just finished reading the book Recollected Essays 1965-1980 by Wendell Berry.  It lost my interest at times and completely consumed my thoughts at other times.  Here are a few of my favorite portions of the book. 

“But the binoculars not only give access to knowledge of lives that are usually elusive and distant; they make possible a peculiar imaginative association with those lives.  While opening and clarifying the remote, they block out the immediate.  Where one is no longer apparent, it is as though one stood at the window of a darkened room, lifted into a world that cannot be reached except by flying.  The treetops are no longer a ceiling, but a spacious airy zone full of perching places and nervously living lights and shadows.  One sees not just the bird, but something of how it is to be the bird.  One’s imagination begins to reach and explore into the sense of how it would be to be without barriers, to fly over the river, to perch at the frailest, most outward branchings of the trees.” –Page 51 The Long-Legged House

On moving his family back to his childhood home.

“I had made a significant change in my relation to the place: before, it had been mine by coincidence or accident: now it was mine by choice.  My return, which at first had been hesitant and tentative, grew wholehearted and sure…In this awakening there has been a good deal of pain.  When I lived in other places I looked on their evils with the curious eye of a traveler; I was not responsible for them; it cost me nothing to be a critic, for I had not been there long, and I did not feel that I would stay.  But here, now that I am both native and citizen, there is no immunity to what is wrong.  It is impossible to escape the sense that I am involved in history.   What I am has been to a considerable extent determined by what my forebears were, by how they chose to treat this place while they lived in it: the lives of most of them diminished it, and limited its possibilities, and narrowed its future.  And every day I am confronted by the question of what inheritance I will leave.” Pages 79-80 A Native Hill

“The difference between a path and a road is not only the obvious one.  A path is little more than a habit that comes with knowledge of a place.  It is a sort of ritual of familiarity.  As a form, it is a form of contact with a known landscape.  It is not destructive.  It is the perfect adaptation, through experience and familiarity, of movement to place; it obeys the natural contours; such obstacles as it meets it goes around.  A road, on the other hand, even the most primitive road, embodies a resistance against the landscape.  Its wish is to avoid contact with the landscape; it seeks so far as possible to go over the country, rather than through it; its aspiration, as we see clearly in the example of our modern freeways, is to bridge; its tendency is to translate place into space in order to traverse it with the least effort.  It is destructive, seeking to remove or destroy all obstacles in its way.  The primitive road advanced by the destruction of the forest; modern roads advance by the destruction of topography.” –Page 86 A Native Hill

Enjoy Mom, this one is for you!

“But there is not only peacefulness, there is joy.  And the joy, less deniable in its evidence than the peacefulness, is the confirmation of it.  I sat one summer evening and watched a great blue heron make his descent from the top of the hill into the valley.  He came down at a measured deliberate pace, stately as always, like a dignitary going down a stair.  And then at a point I judged to be midway over the river, without at all varying his wingbeat he did a backward turn in the air, a loop-the-loop.  It could only have been a gesture of pure exuberance, of joy-a speaking of his sense of the evening, the day’s fulfillment, his descent homeward.  He made just the one slow turn, and then flew on out of sight in the direction of a slew farther down in the bottom.  The movement was incredibly beautiful, at one exultant and stately, a benediction on the evening and on the river and on me.  It seemed so perfectly to confirm the presence of a free nonhuman joy in the world-a joy I feel a great need to believe in-that I had the skeptic’s impulse to doubt that I had seen it.  If I had, I thought it would be a sign of the presence of something heavenly in the earth.  And then, one evening a year later, I saw it again.” –Page 112 A Native Hill

An Entrance to the Woods.  It is too long to type up but I hope you all go out and find this essay asap.  I read this for the first time from my Hammock under the bright, hot Swaziland sun.  While reading this I felt back at home in the woods.  I have missed a lot of people while I have been here but I think what I have missed most is simply being able to retreat to the woods by myself.  Reading this essay brought me back there, if only for a few moments. 

“No place is to be learned like a textbook or a course in school, and then turned away from forever on the assumption that one’s knowledge of it is complete.  What is to be known about it is without limit, and it is endlessly changing.  Knowing it is therefore like breathing: it can happen, it stays real, only on the condition that it continue to happen.  As soon as it is recognized that a river- or, for that matter, a home-is not a place but a process, but not a fact but an event, there ought to come an immense relief: one can step into the same river twice, one can go home again. –page 248 The unforeseen Wilderness

“Where I am going I have never been before.  And since I have no destination that I know, where I am going is always were I am.  When I come to good resting places, I rest.  I rest whether I am tired or not because the places are good.  Each one is an arrival.  I am where I have been going.  At a narrow place in the stream I sit on one side and prop my feet on the other.  For a while I content myself to be a bridge.  The water of heaven and earth is flowing beneath me.  While I rest a piece of the world’s work is continuing here without my help.”- Page 265 The Journey’s End