Thoughts on The Long Haul

Just finished reading the book The Long Haul By Myles Horton.  This was an incredible book about social change and education.  The Highlander school has positively influenced communities for over sixty years.  The following are some of my favorite quotes from the book.

“God is love, and therefore you love your neighbors.  Love was religion to her, that’s what she practiced.  It was a good nondoctrinaire background, and it gave me a sense of what was right and what was wrong.  I’ve taken this belief of my mother’s and put it on another level, but it’s the same idea.  It’s the principle of trying to serve people and building a loving world.  If you believe that people are of worth, you can’t treat anybody inhumanely, and that means you not only have to love and respect people, but you have to think in terms of building a society that people can profit most from, and that kind of society has to work on the principle of equality.  Otherwise, somebody’s going to be left out.” –page 7

“From Jesus and the prophets I had learned about the importance of loving people, and the importance of loving people, the importance of being a revolutionary, standing up and saying that this system is unjust.  Jesus to me was a person who had the vision to project a society in which people would be equally respect, in which property would be shared; he was a person who said you have to love your enemies, you have to love the people who despise you.” –page 26

“…try to find out how to get social justice and love together.” –page 32

“I don’t think you help people by keeping them enslaved to something that is less than they are capable of doing and believing.  I was told one time during an educational conference that I was cruel because I made people who were very happy and contented, unhappy, and that it was wrong to upset people and stretch their imaginations and minds, and to challenge them to the place where they got themselves into trouble, became maladjusted and so on.  My position was that I believed in changing society by first changing individuals, so that they could then struggle to bring about social changes.  There’s a lot of pain in it. And a lot of violence, and conflict/ and that is just part of the price you pay.  I realized that was part of growth-and growth is painful.  A plant comes through the hard ground. And it breaks the seed apart.  And then it dies to live again. 

I think that people aren't fully free until they’re in a struggle for justice.  And that means for everyone.  It’s a struggle of such importance that they are willing, if necessary, to die for it.  I think that’s what you have to do before you’re really free.  Then you've got so much you want to do.  This struggle is so important that it gives a meaning to life.  Now that sounds like a contradiction, but I encourage people to push limits, to try to take that step, because that’s when they are really free.” –page 184

“As I read about birds, I realized that they not only use tail winds but they don’t fight the winds.  They change their course year after year on the basis of the particular situation.  They never come back exactly the same way twice because the conditions are never the same, but they always get to their destination.  They have a purpose, change tactics according to the situation.  I thought, for God’s sake they’re pretty smart, why can’t we learn not to do things when it’s almost impossible?  Why can’t we learn to hole up and renew our strength?  Why can’t we learn to change the entire route if it’s necessary, so long as we get to the right point?  I started learning from the birds about how to take advantage of crisis situation and of the opposition and use that knowledge for my own purposes.” –page 199

“Goals are unattainable in the sense that they always grow.  My goal for the tree I planted in front of my house is for it to get big enough to shade the house, but that tree is not going to stop growing once it shades my house,  It’s going to keep on growing bigger regardless of whether I want it to or not.  The nature of my visions are to keep on growing beyond my conception.  That is why I say it’s never completed.  I think there always needs to be struggle.  In any situation there will always be something that’s worse, and there will always be something that’s better, so you continually strive to make it better.  That will always be so, and that’s good, because there ought to be growth.  You die when you stop growing.” –page 228

Lessons from the rejected

Lesson 3

Reflections from CHUM's Development Director, Mary Schmitz

I listened to a variety of Christmas music this weekend.  I love all kinds of Christmas music as it prepares me for my favorite holiday!

As I dusted and moved the furniture in preparation for putting up my Christmas decorations, I hummed along.  When “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” began I listened with a new pair of ears.  Rudolph was different He was left out.  Members of his community didn’t know how to engage with him.  Rudolph was hurt that he didn’t have anything to offer.

The folks we meet and advocated for at CHUM day after day are like Rudolph.  We don’t understand who they are and why they are not like us.  We can’t always see how to engage with them.  We are not sure if we should greet them, make eye contact or even if we should walk by them.  They appear different from us.

But fortunately Rudolph did have a special gift to offer, one that others couldn’t give.  Each person we meet has something to offer, even when it is not readily apparent.

As you hustle and bustle in preparation for your faith traditions holiday, take just a moment to acknowledge and engage the “Rudolph’s” among us.

I finished up my internship last week.  A majority of the time I spent at CHUM was with the employment program.  Many of the people I worked with have a pretty rough background.  Felonies and addictions make them unemployable.  I often wondered what their lives would look like if people gave them a chance.  A chance to work, to have an income, to provide for themselves and their families, to have responsibility, and to have dignity.  There is a tricky balance between having the compassion to give people a second chance while still reminding them that there are consequences for past mistakes.  With that in mind, I hope that we all can find ways to show compassion to those around us.  May we see value and worth in all people and may we empower them to live out their strengths in beautiful ways...no matter who they are.

Holy Groans By Rachel Tulloch

"As I write this, I am waiting for a bus on a busy corner in a extremely poor community in Central America, in which I lived for a year and have been visiting now for nine years. Most of the time, the tragedy of this place fades into the background of my thoughts, pushed there by familiarity, busyness, and the cheerfulness and the resilience of the people who have welcomed me here. Nonetheless, it is evident that the joy many people here display is in clear defiance of the facts of their daily existence.

Sometimes, moments like this one come when I can no longer ignore these facts, and the sense of tragedy becomes overwhelming. I can see garbage strewn around me-plastic bags, empty bottles, crumpled wrappers, cigarettes-things discarded. Since it is located on the site of an old dump, garbage literally serves as the foundation of this mini-city, which is full of people discarded. I see a young girl walking towards school and I wonder if she shares the experience of so many other girls and young women here whose bodies are used, owned, or defaced. I see a boy whose swagger makes him look older and more confident than he probably is. As he joins the group of laughing older boys, I am aware of how likely his future is to be stolen by gangs and drugs. They are more lucrative ventures than most other job options that will be available to him-lucrative as long as he is alive, that is. Beside me is a woman selling tortillas and green mangoes. Like the innumerable other single moms in this community, she must choose between being with her children and feeding them. Even the dogs, whose ugly skeletal bodies manage to reproduce at obscene rates, join this dance of joy and threat, death and life that is ordinary living here.

From behind me, I hear an old man groan; he is struggling to stand up from where he is sitting against a wall. And it seems to me right now that I can hear in his groan the groaning of this whole place, and for that matter, the groaning of all creation that Paul spoke of in Romans as it waits for its redemption. The groaning of these hills, soaked with the blood of those murdered for a cell phone or a pair of shoes. The groaning of this river, polluted with chemicals and sewage. Holy groans. Like the groans of the people in Egyptian slavery that touched the ears and heart of God. Like the groans of the psalmist while his very bones wasted away. Like groans of the crucified One, bearing the weight of the whole world's pain. I want to groan too, because I don't have any words to speak. So I am thankful for the beautiful Spirit who joins the groaning, who takes my conflicted feelings of guilt and anger and love and intercedes for me with "groans that words could not express." Holy groans.

But now, I am struck by something else. I hear the voice of a little girl coming from around the corner, singing loudly and clearly a song I know well: "Oh love of God, how rich and pure, how measureless and strong, it will forevermore endure, the saints' and angels' song!"

Love of God, rich and pure, measureless and strong. In the middle of so much suffering, this can easily sound like the mockery of an indifferent universe, I am certain of one thing: it must either be a cruel joke or the deepest possible truth. It is easy for philosophers and theologians to debate the question of suffering when they are removed from its stark reality. However, it is a costly thing for those who suffer to speak of the love of God in the midst of their pain. That is why their voice of the carries the ring and force of truth. When it come to questions of love and suffering, the voice of the smallest, the poorest, and the most vulnerable carries an authority far beyond that of philosophical treatises or the debates of the experts. I have read many good books on this topic, and I have even tried to write about it myself. But I have never read anything that speaks so profoundly to life's deepest groans than the song of this child in this place. This song does not dismiss or deny our groaning, but assures us that we do not groan in an empty void, but in the midst of a universe whose truest reality is Love."

Lessons from the rejected

Lesson 2

Community.  This is something that we all desire in some form or the other.  I have been a part of some incredible communities over the last few years and through these communities I have realized that they are essential.  Last Friday I completed the 6th week of my internship.  As I interact with the homeless population of Duluth in the drop in center and at my house I have seen some beautiful communities.  For example, there is a couple that moved to Duluth and into the shelter the same week that I started my internship.  They knew no one.  That same week another single guy moved into the shelter after spending a number of isolated weeks living out of his truck.  Throughout the last six weeks I have watched these three people find a community, a support system, among one another and with others in the drop in center.  This community can be bad, pressuring people into bad decisions, but it can also good.  When healthy, community can be the support system that people need to make it out alive.  Similarly, this past week our house of hospitality grew from 4 people to 10 people.  These new guests have all experienced some pretty traumatic events prior to coming here.  Abuse, addictions, violence, and homelessness has brought this group of people together and their budding friendship could be a huge factor in helping them to get out of those situations.  It has been such a joy to see these communities forming and I am so thankful to be a part them!

I know full well the importance of community and I desire it in my life.  One thing that I am learning though is the amount of trust needed within communities.  It is so easy for me to close myself off to others, not allowing them to really know me.  Without this openness I am closing myself off to truly being in community with others.  Trust and community go hand and hand.  Time and time again I find myself in conversations with people who are homeless.  These conversations are far from surface level.  Maybe, this is why the communities that they form seem so much deeper than most of communities that I see.  This level of trust allows them to go so much deeper in their relationships.  As a social work student I also understand the importance of boundaries within the relationships between myself and the folks that I interact with at the drop in center.  Although, I am learning a lot from seeing these relationships form.  As I see community in this setting I feel more pressure to apply these lessons to my communities of support.  I am learning the importance of being open and trusting, especially among those who I love. 

I hope that no matter where we are we can find communities that care for us, energize us, teach us, and love us.  We need this more than we realize.  Where do you find community?  Are they supporting you?  Do you support them?  And most importantly, how much do you trust this community to truly know you, care for you, and love you? 

          

The Sphere Of Exaltation

This really resonated with me and I wanted to share it...

We have all had times on the mount, when we have seen things from God's standpoint and have wanted to stay there;but God will never allow us to stay there.  The test of our spiritual life is the power to descend;if we have the power to rise only, something is wrong.  It is a great thing to be on the mount with God, but a man only gets there in order that afterwards he may get down among the devil possessed and lift them up.  We are not built for the mountains and the dawns and aesthetic affinities, those are for moments of inspiration, that is all.  We are built for the valley, for the ordinary stuff we are in, and that is where we have to prove our mettle.  Spiritual selfishness always wants repeated moments on the mount.  We feel we could talk like angels and live like angels, if only we could stay on the mount.  The times of exaltation are exceptional, they have their meaning in our life with God, but we must beware lest our spiritual selfishness wants to make them the only time.

We are apt to think that everything that happens is to be turned into useful teaching, it is to be turned into something better than teaching, viz., into character.  The mount is not meant to teach us anything, it is meant to make us something.  There is a great snare in asking-What is the use of it?  In spiritual matters we can never calculate on that line.  The moments on the mountain tops are rare moments and they are meant for something in God's purpose.

-From the October 1st lesson from Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest.

Lessons from the rejected

Today I spent an hour chatting with a lady at the drop in center.  This women is in her 70's and has been homeless for the last 25 years.  She suffered severe abuse as a child and to this day struggles with a learning disability.  Throughout her life she, like most people who are homeless, has been rejected.  This population experiences rejection on a daily basis because of their homelessness, their nationality, their addictions, their mental and physical disabilities....and the list goes on and on.  These people consistently have doors shut in their face.  As an intern, I have many jobs around the drop in center, but I think that my most important job is to listen.  Sitting down with an individual and listening to their story shows people that they have purpose.  I have learned some beautiful things during these conversations and want to share them with others.  So, I am going to start a mini blog series: Lesson's from the rejected.

Lesson 1

Live by faith.  A while back I was reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan.  At one point in the book he challenges his readers by asking "What are you doing in your life that requires you to live by faith?"  I really struggled with this.  I live a very comfortable, cushy life.  I live my life, and I struggle to put my faith totally in God.  Today, my new friend at the drop in center reminded me of the importance of relying on God.  I was inspired by her faith.  As she shared about her life it was apparent that she knows more than anyone else I have ever met what it means to live by faith.  She shared with me that ever day she cries out to her Daddy, her Pappa, her God.  It is scary not knowing what the next day will hold?  Where she will rest her head?  Will her meals fill her stomach?  If I was in that same situation I feel that I would give up hope, lose faith.  Hearing her cry out to her Daddy was a much needed reminder for me that I can not do this on my own.  I need my Father, my God.  Relying on my own abilities will never be enough.  I must rely on God.  I must live by faith.

...for you

The body of Christ broken for you

                                The blood of Christ shed for you

Last spring I stood at the front of my home church helping to distribute communion.  The line of people waiting to receive their portion of bread and wine seemed endless.  The body of Christ broken for you.  The body of Christ broken for you.  The body of Christ broken for you.  The body of Christ broken for you.  I started to feel like a broken record.  The body of Christ broken for you.  As I reflect on this experience I began to think maybe I was just having a bad day…but then I realize that I really have no excuse for not being joyful as I distributed this incredible gift.  Anyway, half way through communion I realized that this is the body of Christ broken for you.  And this is the body of Christ broken for YOU.  And this is the body of Christ broken for YOU!  Instantly, this monotonous motion transformed into one of the most incredible and powerful lessons of my life.  Jesus’ body, blood, grace, love it’s for us all.  Each one of us is loved by Christ.  And how moving it is to break bread and place it in the outstretched hand of a friend, a family member, or a stranger…looking each one in the eye and knowing that they are loved by Christ.  You are loved by Christ.

Distributing communion has become one of my new favorite things, but I still struggle to make this lesson roll over into my daily life.  At times, it can be difficult to look every person we encounter in the eye and accept that this is the body of Christ broken for you.

I am currently working at a homeless shelter and living in a hospitality house.  I am surrounded by people struggling with homelessness, mental illness, and chemical dependency.  I see single mothers screaming at their children, I hear drunk men yelling obscenities at me from across the street, the smell cigarette smoke is always present, and people are constantly abusing the kindness of others.  It is very easy for me to look down at these people, viewing myself as superior. 

And then I am reminded of that day last spring as I distributed communion.

The body of Christ broken for you.

It is difficult to see value in all people.  It is difficult to see Christ in all people. 

So, as I continue this semester surrounded by homelessness it is my goal is to remember that Christ died for everyone.  As I follow Christ I must remember that the body of Christ is broken for us all.  Addictions, strengths, failures, mistakes, histories, successes, friends, life styles, personal hygiene…none of that will ever make anyone worthy on unworthy of the grace of God.  I must apply this to the way that I interact with the ones around me.  I am not superior to anyone and I never will be. 

This goal will not be reached easily and I know that it will be a lifelong struggle.  Further, I know that I will never be able to do this on my own.  

So please, join me.  Together let us love and care for others with the same compassion and grace that Christ gives us.

This is the body of Christ broken for you….for us all. 

Waiting...

Stuck. Static. Still. Stationary. Stagnant.

So often in life I feel stuck.  Throughout high school and even college I felt trapped.  Life seemed  like a never ending check list of to do’s…all of these boxes to check before I could reach my goals, my future, my life, my dreams.  The past few months I have had many conversations with people about these frustrations.  We all seem to be waiting for something.  Waiting for that promotion, waiting to get the kids through college, waiting for that diploma, waiting, waiting, static waiting.

But waiting for what?

Once we finish one “check list” it seems that another is created instantly.  When will we finally be happy about where we are in life?  When will we stop dragging our feet around, complaining about our life? When will really start living?

Two weeks ago I moved to a new town.  I moved into a hospitality house and started an internship at a homeless shelter.  This is what I have been waiting to do for years!  I am fulfilling my dreams.  But for some reason I still find myself stuck in the future, impatiently waiting for the next thing, the next job, the next adventure. 

While it is good to dream about the possibilities of the future, it is my goal this semester to put more focus on the here and now.  No more waiting for Me!  God is able to use all of us in incredible ways.  We don’t have to wait for that college degree, that high school diploma, or that promotion.  Keep pursuing your goals but be joyful in the meantime.  Where ever we are right now…God is willing to work through us.  Be open to whatever comes your way.  Allow every moment to be an opportunity to

Love.  Serve.  Laugh.  Worship. Live.

Waves.

“Do you know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youth grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.”

-Isaiah 40:27-31

My summer is in full swing as a canoe guide in the BWCA.  We have completed our staff training, staff trip, and my first two trips.  I still cannot believe that I am getting paid to spend my summer guiding in the boundary waters.  So far this summer has been incredible.  I feel so refreshed and genuinely happy.  I have a big year ahead of me but it is refreshing to just be content with where I am right now.  The last year was a busy one and I have also been thankful to have had time to just be still!

I feel that sometimes I get some of my best thinking done when I am sitting in a canoe with a paddle in hand.  A few weeks ago I went on a day trip with a friend of mine from camp.  We spent the morning paddling across Seagull, through Alpine, up Red Rock and into Sag.  The waves on sag were pretty bad and it took a solid hour of hard paddling to get out of the wind.  During this portion of the paddle it was really easy for me to focus only on the waves.  As I dug my paddle into the water all I saw was the next wave crashing over the canoe.  At some point during this tiring paddle I glanced up and noticed a hillside covered in quaking aspens.  Did you know that some believe the quaking aspen to be the biggest organism in the world because of the connected root system?  It’s amazing!  Then I looked above me and saw an incredible blue sky with big fluffy clouds.  To my left there was a beautiful shore line of huge trees, untouched by the recent fire.  As I looked around me I realized that I was surrounded by nothing but God’s beautiful creation.  How often do we miss God’s presence in our lives because we are focusing only on the waves that are crashing over our canoe?

The last year has been difficult.  It was a great year but often I feel that I only saw the waves that had become present in my life, the stresses of a full load of senior level classes.  Looking back at the year I regret that I didn’t allow myself to be energized by the glory of God that is constantly surrounding me. 

Our Lord is the everlasting God who gives us strength.  I hope that this is a lesson that will never be forgotten.       

Pray with me...

an appropriate prayer for me in this time of change and transition...please pray with me.

"Lord, we pray for humility of mind to discern you in our visions and our dreams.  We pray for wisdom to know what to do with your revelations.  We pray for innocence to trust that you are walking with us.  Amen."

 found in the book of Common Prayer- A Liturgy For Ordinary Radicals

Neuva Guatemala-Reflections!

Here is the sermon that Taylor, Dan, and I gave the Sunday after we returned from Guatemala.  Enjoy!

http://vimeo.com/21701306

Meaning

So I just realized that I have yet to explain the meaning behind the title of my blog.

Agape. Tsandza. Love.

If you know me well you should, not only know what these three words mean, but also how I apply them to my life.  In case you don't know I will give you a little hint...it's all about love.

Agape, or agaph, is the Greek word for love.  The Greeks realized that there are a number of different ways that the word "love" can be used.  Instead of overusing the word "love," like we commonly do, they came up with three different words that can be used to express their love towards different things.  In fact the city of Philadelphia got its name from the word philia which means friendship.  The word agape is used to explain the greatest love of all.  Agape is more than just affection, this is a love that is willing to sacrifice itself for another.  This is Jesus' love for us.  Two and a half years ago I had agaph tattooed on to my forearm as a reminder that I am loved.  I am loved so much that Jesus gave up his own life for me.  I also got this tattoo as a constant reminder to express Jesus' love to all people.  A few weeks ago I was helping out at church by distributing communion during one of our church services.  One by one people approached me with their hands out stretched, waiting for their piece of bread.  As I gave each person a piece of bread I looked into their eyes and recited my line, "This is the body of Christ, broken for you."  Half way through distributing the communion I realized just how beautiful this sacrifice truly is.  Jesus died for everyone!  There are over 6 billion people in this world just right now...and he loves them all, equally!  I have now gotten in the habit of reciting these lines in my mind daily as I pass by friends and strangers alike.  "This is the body of Christ, broken for you.  This is the blood of Christ, shed for you."  I strive to daily acknowledge this gift of love that has been given to all people while doing my best to love others the way that Christ loves me.

Tsandza is the SiSwati word for love.  In the summer of 2009 I was able to fulfill a life long dream by going to Swaziland Africa.  Swaziland is a small country, about the size of New Jersey, just above South Africa.  This country has the highest HIV/AIDS prevalence in the entire world.  The United Nations has estimated that by the year of 2050 the entire country will be wiped out because of AIDS.  The statistics are disgusting.  The people of Swaziland are consistently surrounded by death, pain, illness, hunger, and poverty.  But, similar to Nueva Guatemala, the people of Nsoko, Swaziland have taught me so much about the power of faith, the importance of love, and the hope of eternity.  "I saw what I saw and I can't forget it. I heard what I heard and I can't go back.  I know what I know and I can't deny it.  Something on the road cut me to the soul, Your (their) pain has changed me, your dream inspires, your face a memory, your hope a fire, your courage asks me what I'm afraid of, and what I know of love" (I saw what I saw by Sara Groves).  The people of Nsoko have change me so much.  I love them dearly and a large piece of my heart will forever belong to this community.  I have plans to return to Swaziland a year from now...but until then I will tell people of this beautiful place, and the incredible tsandza that is even more prevalent than the HIV that is killing the nation.

Love.  I truly hope that everyone knows this one!  love,  it's what drives me, inspires me, encourages me, strengthens me, and defines me.  Need I say more?             

Why go back?

Hot. Dirty.     Unsafe drinking water.     Black beans.       Scorpions.   Out houses.    Wood plank beds.     More black Beans. 

The living conditions in Nueva Guatemala are far from ideal.  In fact, most Americans will do just about anything to avoid the things listed above.  So, why am I returning to Nueva Guatemala for the third time? 

A welcoming community.       Beautiful relationships.    Laughter.        Joy.       Faith.       Hope.       Love.

It is hard to go to Nueva Guatemala and see only the negative side of these people’s living condition.  There is an unexplainable joy in this community even though the residents of Nueva Guatemala experience a number of hardships daily. 

The main point of our congregations partnership with this community is to build relationships.  We have sent a delegation representing our church to Nueva Guatemala almost every year for the past five years.  We go expecting to help these people, teach them more about Christianity, build relationships and encourage them in their daily lives.  But every trip I feel as if I have left getting more out of the experience then I gave to the Guatemalans.   This resilient group of people has taught me so much in the last few years.  They have taught me the importance of finding joy, not matter what my circumstances may be.  They have shown me the importance of relationships and community.  They continually express love to us.  Finally, they have encouraged me to live by faith.     

I excitedly anticipate my return to Nueva Guatemala.  I cannot wait to be reunited with my friends, my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I look forward to playing with the children, helping the women cook, visiting the homes and the farms of the families, and worshiping God alongside the members of this community.  Most of all, I look forward to seeing God continue to work in this community and in the hearts of the members of our delegation. 

Prayer of the Voyageur

Help me, Lord, to leave my hurried life behind.
Help me now the quiet life within Thy templed trees and lakes to find.
Give me eyes to see each task upon the trail.
Give me faith to know Thy eyes will never fail.
Grant me patience when the portage paths seem long.
Grant me grace to share with friends in word and song.
Plant clean wings upon my feet which now with laden shoes are shod.
Silence me, O Christ, I would be still and know that Thou are God.

Amen.

again!?

So this is just an extension of my last entry...sorry but the idea of simplifying has been on my mind a lot lately.  As I have mentioned before, I really feel that I need to live off of less and not become so attached to my possessions but the past few days these feelings have just hit me in the face.

A few days ago I rediscovered a quote that goes along the line of

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them away.

The following day I was at a bible study and the subject of living simply came up yet again.  As Americans, we can not only live, but we can thrive, in life with a whole lot less that what we currently live off of.  God will supply us with what we need.  Further, how can we, as Christians, devote or lives to Christ when we have all of these distractions around us?

The following night I sipped on some tea while playing cribbage with one of my room mates.  At some point during the night I looked down in amazement at the small quote on the tag to my tea bag.

True wealth is the ability to let go of your possessions.

After thinking about this quote and having some great conversations with friends I have come to realize some things.  One, I think that God does want me to enjoy my wealth...but with that said...there is a very fine line between enjoying your wealth and indulging in it.  That line...I have crossed.  Two, I don't think God wants me to live off of the bare minimums...well at least not right now.  I do think that God wants me to not become attached to my possessions.  For example, I got this really cool sweat shirt poncho thing (the swoncho) the other day and I really like it.  I don't necessarily want to give it away but if someone had a greater need for my swoncho I think I would be able to let go of it.  I do want to be able to continue to get rid of some of my things and live off of less stuff...but more importantly I want to know that I will never have such a strong attachment to a possession that I can not live with out it.  I want to rely on God, I want to love God...I do not want to rely on my stuff, I do not want to love my stuff.

"Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to get along happily whether I have much or little.  I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything.  I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.  For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need."

-Philippians 4:11-13

All three of these events kinda felt like a slap on the face....okay maybe not a slap...but definitely a real obnoxious tapping on the shoulder....but I am thankful for these reminders of what should be important in my life.  I hope this tapping never ceases.